The Houston-Galveston National Weather Service says hurricane season is almost here.
Here is Houston-area President Trump/Governor Greg Abbott Hurricane Plan as I see it.
1. Weather Service announces hurricane on path for Houston/Galveston.
2. Houston/Galveston National Weather Service is defunded and privatized within hours for new faith-based weather service.
3. Taxpayer subsidized Weather Prayer Warriors seek to pray away hurricane to Mexico. Requests that prayers ask God to deflect storm to open ocean rather than to populated areas are rejected "as not part of God's Plan for this storm." Texas pastors say Trump border wall might be "A great and mighty wall of water."
4. Governor Abbott mandates that local police chiefs and sheriffs who do not pre-arrest individuals identified by local Republican Party officials as people who "look like potential looters", will be fined and jailed themselves.
5. Detained "pre-looters" sent to privatized prison. (The prison will later be found to have been knowingly built on hurricane flood plain. Resulting mass drowning blamed on "those who chose to look like looters as this terrible storm menaced our families." Prison guards who survive flood still support Trump. Arrested pre-looters who survive flood still do not vote in 2018 midterms.)
6. ICE agents monitor highway evacuation routes and question evacuees on immigration status.
7. Bannon/Trump reassigns Houston/Galveston Coast Guard resources to protect Trump-owned seaside properties in Florida and New Jersey.
8. Trump says local stores boosting prices of bread, milk and batteries in advance of storm are "smart." Abbott says 500% increase in prices of storm safety items "still maintains consumer access" to flashlights and weather radios.
9. Abbott calls emergency session of legislature. Home insurance companies granted waver to not cover "any event that involve in any way water or wind" Law also passed requiring Transgendered persons to state gender at birth to access taxpayer financed rescue services. Additional restrictions on abortion introduced into emergency legislative agenda.
10. Trump Administration "Pre-denies" all FEMA requests resulting from storm. Hurricane termed "Pre-existing threat that all Gulf Coast residents should have known as possible." FEMA placed under control of ICE.
11. Trump Tweets as hurricane makes landfall.
"C. Columbus reported hurracanes sailing off coast of Alberta in 1192. If climate change real, why same type of storms 1,300 years later? No change!"
"Hurracanes much bigger under Trump than Obama. Far more now crying out for help. So proud. MAGA!"
12. Trump surveys storm damage by watching 15 second clip of flooding on Fox & Friends. Flood shown actually from someplace else.
13. Hurrciane renamed "Ivanka." Merchandising on QVC and U.S. Mint of commemorative coins begins as storm continues path over land.
14. ICE/FEMA appoints local unpaid deputies based on cross reference of Republican primary voters and concealed handgun permit holders. Entire text of manual about how to perform duties reads--"Just do what you feel you need to do."
15. Rescue from flood waters requires immigration check. Privatized floating immigration detention centers charge detainees a fee for meals of raw water snakes and flood water. Detainees must capture water snakes and scoop up flood water themselves.
16. Local churches demand public money for immediate repair from storm. Abbott reconvenes legislature for emergency "Act of God Restoration of our Churches Religious Freedom Act." Also proposes more abortion restrictions.
17. Betsy DeVos arrives in Houston to announce that flooded public schools can only be replaced with charter schools. "God chose to flood these schools"
18. Trump approval rates remains at 40% with strong Republican support. Abbott annouces reelection bid.
19. Later monument to storm victims accompanied by monument to confederate generals.
Please follow me on Instagram. My user name is Neil_Aquino. Please read all of NeilAquino.com. If you've seen a guy walking around Houston with a sign, that possibly was me. Here is my Zazzle store where I sell items that have slogans on them from my signs and some other phrases as well.